Money worries
Every person has the right to financial independence. If your partner is controlling your money or other financial assets, you are experiencing financial abuse, which is a form of domestic violence.
What is financial abuse?
- If you feel that your partner is limiting your financial independence, you are experiencing financial abuse. There are many methods he may use to control you using money. These may include:
- Preventing you from getting or keeping a job
- Making you ask for money
- Making you account for every penny you spend by showing receipts
- Not allowing you to spend money on yourself or your children
- Spending money allocated to bills/groceries on himself
- Controlling your bank account
- Stealing, taking or demanding money from you
- Taking control of any benefits that you receive
- Insisting that all the utility bills or any credit is in your name
Seon’s story
When Seon met her abusive ex-partner she was totally independent. She worked hard for her money, was careful about budgeting and had no debt. Eight years later, when she escaped him, she had no job, massive debts and was on the brink of homelessness.
The financial abuse against her started after the birth of their first child, when Seon gave up her job to care for the baby. Her partner refused to contribute anything towards the care of the baby. He even forced Seon to register the baby with an unknown father, so that he would not have to pay child support and she would get extra benefits as a single parent.
Seon’s partner then started to put debts in her name. He would buy expensive things and put the credit in Seon’s name. He forced her to take out small high rate loans and credit cards and put all the utility bills in her name. Seon felt completely trapped by all these debts, knowing that if she tried to leave she would take the massive debts with her. With a baby to look after, she could not take the risk of becoming homeless.
After eight years with her partner, the birth of her second child gave Seon the strength to leave the relationship.
Despite many struggles, Seon was able to find some new rented accommodation, and started working part time, along with a part time college course. With the help of a Refuge floating support worker, she was able to regain her financial independence and confidence and work out how to manage the large debts she had been left with by her ex-partner.
Seon is now working on developing a new career and studying full-time from home. She says:
“Refuge has given me help to clear the worst of my debt. This has had a profound and positive impact on my mental state and it has also given me the opportunity to start with a clean slate. I still have other debts which I have to clear, but because of Refuge’s help and continued support, I have now re-learnt how to budget in a realistic way”
If you are experiencing financial abuse or are facing financial difficulties after leaving an abusive partner download the free guide You Can Afford to Leave
Please note that not all the information in this guide is relevant to residents of Scotland. However, you may still find the general information useful.
