Lisa Maffia on speaking up, self worth, and sharing her story.

We caught up with So Solid Crew’s Lisa Maffia to discuss her upcoming memoir, ‘First Lady’, and why more support for children going through domestic abuse is so desperately needed. 

 “I’ll tell you a little story. I witnessed abuse in my household. I would home and see the TV ripped off the wall and mum would say, “oh no, it just fell down.” And then I would go off to school the next day absolutely petrified to leave mum alone. And as much as we feel children don’t know or don’t recognise it, they do. ” 

Hi, I’m Lisa Maffia. I’m an artist, a mother, a grandmother, and I am now an author as well.

Tell us more about your new book, ‘First Lady’. 

My memoir is called First Lady and that’s a name that’s come from being in So Solid Crew and being the only female in amongst 30 odd guys. It’s a book about the different chapters and ways of my life that taught me so much and shaped me into the woman I am today.  

What inspired you to write your memoir and why did now feel like the right time to do it?  

I’ve been through some really tricky situations in my life and it’s very important for me to share my journey in hope that I can help at least one person to know that there is always light at the end of the tunnel and that healing is not an overnight process.  

Click here to watch a preview of Lisa’s book

You’ve described it as being about ‘finding your voice when you’ve been silenced.’ How’s that journey shaped who you are today?  

I’ve realised that speaking up is really important. Sometimes we suppress what our real true feelings are, and supress telling others about the traumatic things that we’ve been through, just to protect them. 

But when you speak up, you start to realise and recognise your self-worth. And I think that’s very important. Because if you can just trust one person with your story, you never know, you may help yourself, but it also may help them.  

What has that process of rebuilding meant for you?  

The process of rebuilding life after trauma, you realise that healing doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a whole journey of remembering who you are and trusting people again.  

Thinking about the support that’s available to children and young people who are affected by domestic abuse, what do you think makes the biggest difference?  

I think ensuring that children feel heard is the most important thing. A lot of the time, children don’t have to directly experience abuse for it to affect their future – even witnessing abuse in their household can have a huge impact. Sometimes just going to school, I would be so scared to leave mum at home.  

I think that impact shaped me as I got older, because I slowly started to build up a resilient wall. And maybe that made me accept some sort of abuse when I was getting older. 

I think it’s really important to be that trusted adult for someone. If you can get a trusted adult around a child, just one, to let them open up and digest everything that’s happened and to help them recognise abuse and not deny it to themselves like I did, then they might have a better future.  

What would you like people to better understand about the impact of domestic abuse on children?  

They may be full of anxiety, they may be full of fear, resentment, and every child is individual. Every single child will respond differently.  

Me and my sister were completely different, despite growing up in the same household. We experienced exactly the same things, and yet we responded very differently. So I would like people to understand that, to take every child as an individual and respond to what they are individually in need of. 

Lisa Maffia’s new memoir, ‘First Lady’ is out now. 

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