Twenty-five years of standing with survivors

Our work here at Refuge wouldn’t be possible without the thousands of generous people who donate to us each month. Their kindness ensures women reaching out for help don’t have to face that journey alone.

Giving a regular gift each month helps us to plan and provide services for women fleeing abuse – and their children – now and well into the future. Regular donations provide us with the stable funding we need to ensure that we can stand alongside women every step of the way, as they rebuild lives free from fear. From their first courageous phone to call to our Helpline, through to a safe stay in our refuges, and lasting support well beyond – your regular donation will save women’s lives.

We would love to introduce you to two of our inspiring supporters, who have both been standing alongside survivors for an incredible 25 years. Sarah and Alan’s stories remind us that there are many reasons people choose to support Refuge.

What unites them is the belief that when a woman finds the bravery to take her first step towards living free from fear, she shouldn’t have to take the next one alone.

That’s where supporters like them come in.

Meet Sarah

Sarah first started donating to Refuge in 2001 after looking for a charity that supported women and children experiencing domestic abuse. Within her social circles, almost every woman has experienced inappropriate behaviour, or worse, at some point in her life. Knowing that so many women still need support is what has kept her donating for so long.

More than two decades later, her commitment is stronger than ever.

“For me, giving monthly means it’s part of my everyday life,” she told us. “The amount has changed over the years depending on my financial situation. But I strongly believe in doing what you can to support good causes.

Sarah knows that no one person can solve the issue of domestic abuse. But she also knows that, together, small acts of generosity can become something much bigger

For Sarah, it’s the bravery of survivors that inspire her the most.

The part of Refuge’s work that resonates with her most is our refuges;

“It must be incredibly difficult to give up what you know, no matter how difficult the situation, and leave. It must take guts. The safe places with support are that stepping stone to a future life.”

Those stepping stones matter because they transform women’s courage into safety and, slowly, freedom. With the right support at the right moment, women can begin rebuilding their lives however they choose.

Supporting Refuge has also shaped world.

“We can all get a bit despondent at times, thinking there are so many problems. For me, it’s a case of thinking: how can I make a difference? However small.”

Looking ahead, Sarah hopes for a future built on kindness, tolerance and mutual respect.

Above all, she is inspired by the resilience of survivors, saying she is continually amazed by women who refuse to let abuse define who they are or what comes next.

Meet Alan

Alan, like Sarah, also began supporting Refuge in 2001.

“There was probably some event, controversy or scandal that hit the headlines, some particularly appalling piece of male behaviour that pressed my button, lit my fuse, or jolted me out of my complacency.” Alan also explained that some situations in his personal life made him more aware and sensitive to gender issues and the varied dynamics of relationships.

He describes himself as someone who “loathed unfairness and thus the many and varied forms that discrimination and prejudice take”. In particular, he finds that masculinity is too often presented as ‘aggressive, domineering and hierarchical’.

He says Supporting Refuge has become one of the things in life that has given him an opportunity to make a difference. 25 years later, his dedication hasn’t changed.

“Domestic violence is always with us,” he says. “It is perpetrated by people of my ilk, with whom society might well assume I would naturally identify. I don’t.” Instead, Alan chooses to unite himself with survivors.

“I am relieved that Refuge is there to use my spare cash… to such good effect. I hope it always will be”

Alan’s monthly gift helps ensure that when a woman makes the courageous decision to seek safety, Refuge is there. His support makes the work of Refuge’s specialist services possible and helps women and their children to start to live life on their own terms, free from danger, control and fear.

Making freedom possible

To Sarah, Alan and every one of our incredible monthly supporters: thank you. Your compassion and commitment mean that every month, more women can find the safety they deserve.

If you’ve been thinking about becoming a regular supporter, we’d love for you to join us. Together, we can continue working towards a world where domestic abuse and violence against women and girls is not tolerated, and where women and children can live in safety.

Join Refuge’s mission today, by setting up a monthly donation: https://donate.refuge.org.uk/page/179334/donate/1?ea.tracking.id=GEN26_WEB_BLOG_DDV1

For any questions about becoming a supporter please contact supportercare@refuge.org.uk.